But aside from dealing with the double standard that women face regarding their sexual activity, there aren’t many gender differences in how men and women engage in and perceive FWB relationships. Gender biases must be considered when discussing heterosexual FWB relationships, given that women in most societies are judged more harshly than men for engaging in casual sex. We must also consider gender differences and communication challenges in FWB relationships. Despite valuing the sexual activity, they also report fears that it will lead to hurt feelings or the dissolution of a friendship (Lehmiller, VanderDrift, & Kelly, 2011). Some who have reported FWB relationships note that they value the sexual activity with their friend, and many feel that it actually brings the relationship closer. Conversely, those who report no FWB relationships often cite religious, moral, or personal reasons for not doing so. Many who engage in FWB relationships have particular views on love and sex-namely, that sex can occur independently of love. Various research studies have shown that half of the college students who participated have engaged in heterosexual FWB relationships (Bisson & Levine, 2009). So why might people choose to have or avoid FWB relationships? In my conversations with students over the years, we have talked through some of the differences between friends, FWB, and hook-up partners, or what we termed “just benefits.” Hook-up or “just benefits” relationships do not carry the emotional connection typical in a friendship, may occur as one-night-stands or be regular things, and exist solely for the gratification and/or convenience of sexual activity. FWB relationships are hybrids that combine characteristics of romantic and friend pairings, which produces some unique dynamics. Friends with benefits (FWB) relationships have the closeness of a friendship and the sexual activity of a romantic partnership without the expectations of romantic commitment or labels (Lehmiller, VanderDrift, & Kelly, 2011). In other cases, the relationship could quickly sour if the person with more authority begins to abuse it.Ī relatively new type of friendship, at least in label, is the “friends with benefits” relationship. In some cases, like a mentoring relationship, both parties can benefit from the relationship. Unlike the other friendship types that are between peers, this relationship is more like that of a supervisor-subordinate or clergy-parishioner. Receptive friendships include a status differential that makes the relationship asymmetrical. They may spend time with each other in this setting a few days a week for months or years, but their friendship might end if the gym closes or one person’s schedule changes. These friendships are likely to be maintained out of convenience or to meet instrumental goals.įor example, a friendship may develop between two people who work out at the same gym. Associative friendships are mutually pleasurable relationships between acquaintances or associates that, although positive, lack the commitment of reciprocal friendships. Reciprocal friendships are what most people would consider the ideal for best friends. These friendships are likely to develop over time and can withstand external changes such as geographic separation or fluctuations in other commitments such as work and childcare. Reciprocal friendships are solid interpersonal relationships between people who are equals with a shared sense of loyalty and commitment. A friend is someone you can talk to, someone you can depend on for help and emotional support, and someone you can participate in activities and have fun with (Rawlins, 1992).Īlthough friendships vary across the life span, three types of friendships are common in adulthood: reciprocal, associative, and receptive. Even though we do not have a formal ritual to recognize friendship in the United States, in general, research shows that people have three main expectations for close friendships. In rural parts of Thailand, for example, special friendships are recognized by a ceremony in which both parties swear devotion and loyalty to each other (Bleiszner & Adams, 1992). The lack of official support for friendships is not universal, though. Friendships are distinct from romantic relationships, family relationships, and acquaintances and are often described as more vulnerable relationships than others due to their voluntary nature, the availability of other friends, and the fact that they lack the social and institutional support of other relationships. Friendships are voluntary interpersonal relationships between two people who are usually equals and who mutually influence one another.